Becommin a minyon

you is probley here cos you r smarte an you want to be a minyon an that is cleverr of you well dun. there is two levels of minyonshipp u can applie fur and day is emale onlee or emale and postal. i like goin postal. if u joyne u wil be a minyon fur life an you wil get guddies an have frends an minions wil alwes be pretected by me lord minyon rif. so wat is on offer you ses wel this is wats on offer:

if you will be a emale onlee minyon you will get emales frum me an also reggalar noozletters an i wil send you a pichur of u in a cartoon way that u can use as a link or an avveyatar an der will probably be uvver stuff too an you will get all minyon privilidges and will be able to do compytishons and in the forum an all uvver stuff like dat.

if you is postal u need to giv ur addresse in the applieacashon form an you wil get all of the above but also you will get pressies and the pressies are:
- a sined foto of me
- a birfday card an a cristmass card (or hanuka or divali or watever card you wud like insted)
- reggalar newsletters and probably irregalar magazin fur rats
- a speshal membership card that won't get you no discownts but mum is wurkin on sum speshal privilidges
- a keyring and a magnat and a modell of your leeder riff (dats me)

so wat is u watin four? fill in the form an emale it to me an sine the rat plej an you will be a minyon.

Oh, an mum ses you shud say if you don't want your name to be put on a malin list for privacee but the maleing list will not be kept in address books on mi emale accownt cos of compooter plagues an stuff an also you will get ur emale cartoon graffic the weekend after you join usually but sumtimes mum gets drunk and forgets to do fings so don't wurry if you haf to wayte an if u r postal then she will send out the goodies in da second week of evry munf or she wil tri her best an she will pay postage too