Becommin a minyon

you is probley here cos you r smarte an you want to be a minyon an that is cleverr of you well dun. there is two levels of minyonshipp u can applie fur and day is emale onlee or emale and postal. i like goin postal. if u joyne u wil be a minyon fur life an you wil get guddies an have frends an minions wil alwes be pretected by me lord minyon rif. so wat is on offer you ses wel this is wats on offer:

if you will be a emale onlee minyon you will get emales frum me an also reggalar noozletters an i wil send you a pichur of u in a cartoon way that u can use as a link or an avveyatar an der will probably be uvver stuff too an you will get all minyon privilidges and will be able to do compytishons and in the forum an all uvver stuff like dat.

if you is postal u need to giv ur addresse in the applieacashon form an you wil get all of the above but also you will get pressies and the pressies are:
- a sined foto of me
- a birfday card an a cristmass card (or hanuka or divali or watever card you wud like insted)
- reggalar newsletters and probably irregalar magazin fur rats
- a speshal membership card that won't get you no discownts but mum is wurkin on sum speshal privilidges
- a keyring and a magnat and a modell of your leeder riff (dats me)

so wat is u watin four? fill in the form an emale it to me an sine the rat plej an you will be a minyon.

Oh, an mum ses you shud say if you don't want your name to be put on a malin list for privacee but the maleing list will not be kept in address books on mi emale accownt cos of compooter plagues an stuff an also you will get ur emale cartoon graffic the weekend after you join usually but sumtimes mum gets drunk and forgets to do fings so don't wurry if you haf to wayte an if u r postal then she will send out the goodies in da second week of evry munf or she wil tri her best an she will pay postage too

ur stuff mite luk like dis

Applieycashun form

Hello footur minion. this is ur nobell leeder riff ere an i am furmallee introjuicin you to me an my how to be a minion paige cos if you want to be a minion u ave got to fill in a form an what u shud do is coppee it into an emale an then emale it to me an my emale address is in the little linky box on the side of dis fing an then you pres send cos thats the portant bit an i will reply to you soon after an tell you if ur appliecashun form as been successful or if it is rubbish.

you must filld in a form fur each minion in ur familee an dont furget to emale me a pictchur cos i will need it fur the gallaree an also if you want an aveytarr that luks lyke you

nayme:
age:
wen is ur birfday?:
seks (hehehehehe):
colurr:
dumbo or not dumbo?:
reks or not reks?:
if you is a mail, nadded or de-nadded?:

is you a gud rat?:
if you is, then bog off you isn't wanted!
if u isn't, whyfor are you not a gud rat?:
wot do u fink yur minion nicknayme shud be?:
do you like jellee?:

wot is yur emale address?:
wil you let me put u on da minion emale-in list?:
wot is ur address for your howse (u do not haf to put this if you do not want but if you do you will get lots of special guddies):
do you agree wiv da norty rat plej?:
have you ever weed or pooped on a family frend who is nervis of rats?:
was der frend elderly?:
wel dun.

if you sawd that baldric, wot wud you do?

have you seen my tezzercals?:
have you seen merlin?:

will you devot ur liyfe to bein norty and piddly?
will you alwaes steel food?:
do you understand the 'its mine!' principal?:

wot is ur favirite fud?
wot is ur favorite activitee?:
wot is ur favourite teevee programme?:
who is ur hero?:

descriybe urself in wurds.

dats it!